It has been over two weeks since my last post. A lot has happened in that time. Being, as I am, in a kind of limbo, accompanied by tumultuous emotions, and with so much occurring, it also feels like a very long time. My mood had reached a point where despondency took hold of me … Continue reading Rebirth
I was informed yesterday that my uncle has never sexually abused his children. My mother had read my last post and contacted them to establish the truth with regards to their welfare. They have known for a while about his past actions, yet as far as I am aware they have never stated that they … Continue reading The Eternal Monster
I saw my CMHT case worker yesterday. The usual questions and answers. The usual praise for the mundane. Yes, I do see that I am being negative. It is indeed nice to receive recognition for making progress, however small. Yet there is always that critical internal voice reminding me that it's still only progress towards … Continue reading The Monster
Yesterday had a poor start, and my mood flipped dramatically as the day progressed... As much as I can rationalise thoughts, feelings and situations I often manage, somehow, to overlook every positive conclusion that I come to and return to the negative. Fear, paranoia, and anger, amongst other emotions, come crashing in and I become … Continue reading Mojo Yo-Yo
I have been home for three weeks now. In that time I have slept a maximum of three hours per night. With one exception, the night I had six hours sleep. I did a little dance that morning, a dad dance, but celebratory nonetheless. So I was sitting in the lounge, after my fiancée went … Continue reading Clean Inc.